At A Standstill
At A Standstill is performed in real time and follows the conversations of the occupants of five cars, stuck in traffic on a motorway. I chose the M25 but it can be replaced by any motorway. It is easily staged - five chairs and a projection screen.
Cast: 20+
(but there are ample possibilities for multiple roles)
- There is a car of teenage lads so the language is quite colourful but this can be toned down
- This is an educational play that explores social issues and so is also a fun drama study text for the classroom
SCENE 10
(Hepsi, Margaret and Elsie are listening to a recipe
being discussed on the radio.)
RADIO
...and then rub the mixture between
fingers and thumbs until you have a texture resembling very fine bread crumbs. Alternatively you could put it in a mixer and...
HEPSI
Salt! She's missed out salt! I would definitely have added salt to it.
ELSIE
Sign of the times; salt isn't politically correct anymore.
HEPSI
Only a pinch, not a bloody bucket full! Margaret, you're the expert, what do you think? (Pause) Margaret, you okay? You look a bit wan.
MARGARET
I feel a bit wan, Hepsi dear, must be all the excitement. I could do with a nap.
HEPSI
A bit worrying seeing as your driving. Do you want to swap with me and get your head down?
MARGARET
No, I'm okay
ELSIE
Margaret, did you sort your seat out?
MARGARET
Yes! I put the heating on for your seat too -
ELSIE
I know! A bit disconcerting at first -thought I'd had an accident! But a kind gesture, thank you.
HEPSI
(Looking out of the window) You can tell she's a stroppy, little mare, can't you?
ELSIE
A difficult age .
HEPSI
I think they're two dads, you know
ELSIE
What do you mean?
HEPSI
A couple.
ELSIE
Really? (Pause) I think you're right. Isn't it wonderful that they can now live like that? I wish our Bernard was alive to witness it?
HEPSI
Bernard?
ELSIE
My eldest brother
HEPSI
Never heard you mention him.
ELSIE
Case of habit. We were never allowed to talk about him, growing up, and it sort of stuck. He was one of those, you see.
HEPSI
You mean gay?
ELSIE
I do, yes. Dad threw him out and disowned him. I searched and found him, when dad died, and we used to meet for coffee once a month; he was so funny, in a sad sort of
way. Then I met Harold and got married and we drifted apart again. I invited him over, a couple of times, but Harold was a bit awkward around him and he just stopped coming. Shame, really, because we were the only family he had. I saw him at the end, when he was very poorly with the cancer, and I met his partner, Horace, lovely man. He'd kept him secret for twenty three years. Horace and I still write.
HEPSI
Nice-looking couple, that pair
ELSIE
Very handsome! Oh they're letting her back in -
HEPSI
She's got a face like a smacked arse! (Waving out the window) Little lad's a sweetie, though
ELSIE
Do you want a snack, Hepsi?
HEPSI
What you got?
ELSIE
Jaffa cakes.
HEPSI
Shall I get the flask out? Elevenses, how very civilised!
ELSIE
Tea and biscuits, Margaret? (Margaret is asleep at the
wheel) She's only gone and nodded off!
HEPSI
Good job we're not moving! Margaret!
ELSIE
Margaret, dear, wake up! We've poured you tea. (Margaret doesn't respond) Margaret! (Pause) Oh dear...Hepsi...do your nursing thing!
HEPSI
(Checking her pulse) That's not going to work, love .
ELSIE
(Panicking) Oh my God! What are we going to do?
HEPSI
We are going to calmly drink our tea, eat our Jaffa Cakes and review our situation.
ELSIE
Review our situation! What's to review? We're stuck on the motorway, in a stolen car, that neither of us can drive, with a dead person at the wheel. Situation reviewed!
HEPSI
You're panicking. Drink your tea! (Elsie sips her tea.)
Right! What to do? (Looking out the window again) We could ask one of them for help? They look very kind
ELSIE
But the children - not fair to involve them
HEPSI
You're right. Who else have we got?
(Hepsi looks out of the car through all the windows. Elsie continues to dutifully sip her tea.)
ELSIE
She looks very peaceful; I think she's smiling
HEPSI
Smiling? I bet she's pissing herself! She's left us in a right pickle!
ELSIE
What a lovely way to go.
HEPSI
Stuck in traffic on the M25?
ELSIE
Doing something you really believe in; making a difference; fighting for a cause, you know...
HEPSI
Not just sitting in a chair waiting for the inevitable
ELSIE
Yes. We've got to get to Dorking, it's what she would've wanted. We've got to get her to her niece
HEPSI
I'm sure Penny will be thrilled. Hello, we've brought your aunt to visit/ but you don't need to go to any trouble because she's dead!
ELSIE
It's important that we finish the mission she started.
HEPSI
I don't want to piss on your parade, Elsie, but I do feel the need to bring to your attention, the elephant in the car
ELSIE
I'm glad she can't hear you, she'd be most upset!
HEPSI
She's stuck behind the wheel. How are we
meant to drive the car?
ELSIE
(Sipping her tea) I'm thinking.